TWITTER TRACKER! TWITTER TRACKER! TWITTER TRACKER!!!!!

I know of a few of you on Twitter currently, but for those of you who have yet to feel the need to suckle at the tweet teet, let me give you a quick list of some of my favorite LMLWFFL/NFL Twitter users. Some of them have just miserable canned updates while others are pretty fun to read on a daily basis. The most tweeting that I've seen is done by Ochocinco who managed to be on ESPN all week for simply saying he would use Twitter during games. This is without a doubt the lamest time of year for sports. Without any further ado, your near exhaustive list of players you may or may not want to check in on:


Larry Fitzgerald
Chad Ochocinco
Donte Whitner
Jonathan Stewart (you're welcome Brian)
Greg Olsen
Fabian Washington (warning: has a broken Caps Lock button)
Aaron Maybin
Roy Williams
Matt Forte
Knowshon Moreno
Keith Rivers (claims to be "a single ladies???" I promise)
Kevin Smith (always pimping his blog)
Champ Bailey
Ben Utecht (just as Jesus-y as you would expect)
Drew Stanton (only has like 4 updates and they're just what you'd expect from Drew "effing" Stanton)
Steve Slaton
Takeo Spikes
Laurence Maroney (someone get him to convince Logan to tweet)
Percy Harvin
Maurice Jones-Drew (commands you to "humble yourself")
Eddie Royal
Kevin Boss (goes to soccer games?!)
Malcolm Jenkins
Shaun Alexander (see: Utecht, Ben)
Antonio Cromartie (even with 5 paternity suits in the last year [!] has time to tweet)
Vernon Davis
Jay Feely
Randy Moss (one whole update)
Steve Smith (NYG)
Visanthe Shiancoe (not nearly as penis-y as his other internet appearances)
Drew Brees
Warrick Dunn
Nick Mangold
T.J. Duckett (could be the best Twitter name)
Steven Jackson
Mike "NOOOOOOOOOOJ" Nugent
Chris Cooley
LenDale White

If more Twittering becomes fun I'll try and stay on top of this. I follow a couple of the guys but some of them have some really genuine things to say on Twitter that are just grand. Just grand.

Tomfoolery

How does a smug a-hole decide to try and come across as less smug, you ask? The answer is simple. By being PAINFULLY unfunny.

Players' Union v. Yahoo(!) Falls Short of Supreme Court

As much as I love some good, litigious drama unfolding before my very eyes, the NFL Players' Union settled with Yahoo(!) where the latter thought it improper to be charged for the stats that the Union's members run up on Sundays, Mondays, and the occasional Thursday.

You read that right. The world's pussiest Union thought that they could muscle Yahoo(!) into paying for the simple arithmetic used to catalog a season. There have got to be some more offseason activities to keep everyone a little busier than they clearly are.

Meet This Year's LMLWFFL #1 Pick

Word out of Jacksonville is that a certain Todd Boeckman has been signed by the Jaguars forcing Cleo Lemon out of a job.

No telling how many gray and redshirts the NFL allows to force him into a career that rivals that of any kicker in length.

The Only Time in the Year when the NFL is Boring...

Here are the most exciting headlines this week in the NFL that may or may not have ramifications on the LMLWFFL (it still takes me two minutes to remember that abbreviation).

Devin Dummel's Balls may still have an extra QB: Favre considering comeback with Vikes. Appearing on Joe Buck Live (classy) he said they'll know in a couple weeks whether his robotic arm will be up for beating out the likes of Tavaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels for the starting gig in Minnesota.

Freddo's Murderous WR gets 30 days in Jail: Hooray for rich people! Did you know that the day before the crash Stallworth received a $4.5 million bonus from the Browns just for being on the roster? Ah Cleavland, poor poor Cleavland.

Team Pee Pee's #1 Threat Looking for New Home: As a Broncos fan don't you have to be somewhat weary when your new coach shows up and you immediately lose your best two offensive players? Word is he might ended up in Baltimore, which would send Joe Flacco's stock through the roof (anybody want to trade?)!

Tony's WR and Sander's QB Shacking Up Together in July: Another Joe Buck Live news piece. Carson and OchoCinco are moving in together, for a month, to catch up on lost time, and kiss.

The Best Live Cam You've Taken Part In Since The Last Time You Signed Onto Adult Friend Finder

For those of you who will be in different geographic locales from Cincinnati on the day of the draft this year, I will be setting up a video chat of the draft board for pick announcements and be running a live chat room for you to communicate your draft picks and dick jokes. If you cannot make the draft chat on draft day then you'll have to submit your list of picks. I'm sure Wuske will be giving the format out for that, but I'm going to e-mail you all the information when we get closer as a reminder. For now, just make sure you add as google chat friends "loganmankinsdraftcam" and "zaocharis". If you don't have google chat it takes 5 seconds to sign up for an account.

The Kid and Sanders Sunk

Congratulations to Larry Fitzgerald and Troy Polamalu for being the first tag team to simultaneously have their careers ended by a retired John Madden.

I'll do you a favor, the Kid, and take Fitz off your hands for this year's number 1 draft pick.