Mock Draft (w/J. Reinold) v1.0

For whatever reason, we'll give this a try.



Expect this to change multiple times. I'm only going to do the first round and similar to Mel and Todd I expect to be skewered for my picks. Realize there are plenty of opportunities for things to change and just because I say you have a suckey RB set doesn't make it true.

*DISCLAIMER* I'm rubber and you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks on you.

Round.One
1. Team Pee Pee [Barry] - Ryan Matthews RB San Diego Chargers: Bud should probably trade out of this pick to try and get a Running Back that can produce today. He's coming into this season after addressing the QB situation last year but with Brian Westbrook on his way out and Matt Forte as his only running back younger than 30. I think that he could get a serviceable back for the season by trading down and taking a different player. But if he's stuck in this spot, Matthews provides the best opportunity at points today in a steady offense where he will see playing time this season.

2. Touchdown There [Devin] - Jahvid Best RB Detroit Lions: Devin isn't as desperate as Bud for production today, but Steve Slaton is not panning out as planned. With two picks he can address his need at Running Back early and probably pick up a young quarterback with the sixth pick.

3. Never Nudes [Jake] - Toby Gerhart RB Minnesota Vikings: Jake has a great, young roster and is totally stacked at the quarterback position. He has two great running backs as well, so this pick is probably one that hopes to build on the future. Gerhart could be the demise of AP or he could sit on the bench for his career behind him. It would be taking a pretty good chance, but I think taking a young wide receiver this early would be an even bigger gamble.

4. the pen 15 club [Fred] - C.J. Spiller RB Buffalo Bills: The first homer pick of the draft! Fred is depending on Pierre Thomas going into this year which is okay for the time being, but probably not the kind of future planning that's winnable. Picking up C.J. Spiller could work well for him and will also give him the chance to pick up a Buffalo Bills draft pick not named Wang.

5. Life Support [Tony] - Dez Bryant WR Dallas Cowboys: This is a tough pick because who knows what Jason Campbell will do in Oakland. Tony has to get younger at wide receiver and if Bryant is able to be any good at all, Roy Williams should be out soon enough to get some plenty of opportunities for Dez.

6. Touchdown There [Devin] (pick acquired in trade with Brian) - Colt McCoy QB Cleveland Browns:As much as everyone likes to hate on McCoy for being an inch or two too short, I think he has the better potential career than Bradford, Clausen, or Tebow. First, Holmgren has said he will make him sit out in his first season. That may be a lie, but I feel like giving him the time to develop can't hurt. I also think he's less of a chance for injury than Bradford and more of a known quarterback quantity than Tebow. Finally I like the fact that Holmgren will be developing him. Brett Favre may be the worst human being (ever) but he was still a nothing quarterback who has everyone constantly on his nuts. Devin needs the insurance in case Brees starts to fizzle in a couple of years or gets hurt.

7. Neverland Ranchhands [Joel] - Golden Tate WR Seattle Seahawks: Joel's M.O. in this league from day one has been "old players". That may have worked, but he could address a need at wide receiver with this pick. Tate should get plenty of opportunity to play this season and that could work out well for the Ranchhands.

8. Umpire the Giant [Shawn] - Ben Tate RB Houston Texans: Shawn has a lot of young running backs, but for the most part they aren't contributing at a high level. Taking the chance on another young guy who would have to beat out Steve Slaton in the next couple years may be stupid, but it was this or Montario Hardesty. I know he'd almost take Hardesty based on his name alone, but I figured since Tate was from the SEC that the loyalty to conference went before loyalty to silly name appreciation.

9. (Team TBD) [GM TBD] - Jimmy Clausen QB Carolina Panthers: I would first like to thank Jesus and all of His Angels for the fact that I won't have to make this pick. First because I would probably vomit as the words for the pick were coming out of my moth. Second, it pisses me off that I would have to pick this punk simply because Big Ben can't keep his gray penis in his pants. And lastly, fuck Jimmy Clausen.

10. bsanders [obvs] - Sam Bradford QB St. Louis Rams: As a Bengals fan, I would argue the writing has been on the wall for three or four seasons regarding Carson Palmer. The fact that the team went out of their way to keep the ball out of the air last season continues to indicate to me the lack of faith that they have in Palmer's future. He's been mediocre at best and serviceable as a Fantasy quarterback. If Sanders is willing to run with Bulger, then he should be okay taking his heir apparent as well.

11. the Kid fc© [Alex] - Montario Hardesty RB Cleveland Browns: As much as I know he would've liked to have one of the Irish fall to him, I think the Kid will be stuck taking a Running Back that has a chance of starting this season. Joe McKnight is still on the board but he's been average at best and will be behind a logjam in New York and Dexter McCluster is someone I simply don't know enough about to assume he'll do anything behind an awful offensive line in KC. So Hardesty may be good and he may be bad, but the Kid also has one of the best teams top to bottom in this league based on last year's points.

12. _____ it in the _____ [Marcus] - Jermaine Gresham TE Cincinnati Bengals: Taking a TE in the first round in our league isn't nearly as unforgivable as a normal league, but this is still a little bit of a reach. Though he won the jersey, his record sucked. Though his record sucked, he lost four of those games by a combined 10 or so points. Those 10 points could easily be made up by having a tight end that can score more than two points a game which I would expect from Gresham.